NOTE:

This message was given as a 2 part series on December 5, 2009. It is posted here as a single message. There is a small break in the middle of the file, just keep going to get to the second part. Thanks, COG Big Sandy.

Dave Havir, focusing on the concept of helping people find love, indicates that to love someone properly, we have to properly love ourselves. This is not an inordinate self-absorption, but instead a healthy respect. Love hunger is a legitimate need that we carry from cradle to grave. Infants have an inborn need for cuddling and cooing. One reason for fellowship is to fill or restore the “love tank” with hugging and encouragement, a need generally supplied by the family. In order for the offspring to properly feel love, the parents must love one another. If there is parental friction, the parents will siphon love from their children, metaphorically draining their children’s “love tank” dry. Although God has expectations for us, He still gives us unconditional love. People who practice denial about their unmet love needs, fall into a helpless state of co-dependency, and cannot hope to meet someone else’s love needs, no matter how hard they try. Spouses need to determine how they can help their mates, and parents need to determine how they can meet the needs of their children. Our relationship with God, especially as we experience and are shaped by trials, determines the quality of our relationships with others. The trials we experience whittle us down to size, enabling us to empathize with others, bearing their burdens in a spirit of meekness. As the flight attendant informs us regarding times of turbulence, we need to put on the oxygen mask ourselves first. Likewise, we cannot comfort and love others if we have no self-respect and if our relationship with God is faulty.

Addict * Beam and splinters * Co-dependency * Co-dependents * Cuddling * Denial * Enabler * Fellowship * I John 1:8-9 * I Thessalonians 5:16 * Frank Burns * Galatians 6:1-5 * Hawkeye * Hemfelt, Robert * Hugging * Joyce Meyers * Love hunger * Job 42:1-6 * Judging * “Love tank” * Love is a Choice * M.A.S.H. * Matthew 7:1-5; 22:39 * Luke 18:9-14 * Meier, Paul * Minirth, Frank * Narcissism * Pharisee and Publican * Platform ministry * Self respect * “The roles people play” * Serving to attain power * Tough love * Unconditional love