Dave Havir, acknowledging that the book of Philemon is a letter about grace and forgiveness, asks: (1) Did Paul teach that a believer must ignore the actions of other people? (2) Did Paul teach that a believer should allow other people to dictate the terms of grace and forgiveness? And (3) Did Paul ever have any experience where it took some time for him to extend grace and forgiveness to another person? Paul gave us several examples that we are not obligated to go into denial about what others have done to us, as was demonstrated by the account of Alexander the Coppersmith. We dare not let other people dictate the terms of forgiveness, as was demonstrated by Paul’s refusal to take abuse from the Corinthian congregation who allowed others to deceive them on the basis of exalted title or credentials. In terms of forgiving and forgetting, Paul took a long time to come to terms with John Mark’s youthful irresponsibility, causing a lengthy split between Paul and Barnabas. It was not until late in Paul’s life before Paul trusted John Mark again. In the book of Philemon, Paul comes to an aid of a runaway slave who repentantly changed his life and had become useful to Paul. In the letter, Paul uses sterling diplomacy and mild correction to persuade Philemon to free Onesimus, accepting him as a full brother in Jesus Christ, allowing him to return to Paul as an assistant. While we do not live in La La Land as we are pressured to forgive, we should remember that there are genuine times to forgive and extend grace.

Acts 15 * Aphia * Believing slave * Better offer * Boldness * Correction * Feet of clay * Forgive and forget * Free church * John Mark * Lyle and Kathy Kirby * Manipulation by others * Onesimus * Paul * Paul’s son * Personal matters * Personality conflict * Philemon * Psychology * II Corinthians 11:20 * II Timothy 4:14-15 * Taking correction * Unfaithfulness